I’m borrowing this idea from Roger Edwards of Contains Moderate Peril fame. His original Honest Playlist post was an excellent idea, especially since I’m sort of kind of trying to get back into music.

My relationship with music is still kind of weird. I don’t listen anywhere near as often or as much as I used to; since working from home, I’ve stopped listening while I work, which I used to do as a rule when I was in the office. I’ve ruined a lot of associations between music and the past by over-listening to certain songs, artists, or genres later on in life, and I’m constantly trying to be aware when I’m approaching that threshold going forward. I still do have some music which I rarely listen to, but which evokes memories when I do. I’d like to keep it that way.

The first song I remember hearing

My memory sucks, so I can’t really remember. After I was born, and until my brother and I were old enough (or in school long enough), my mother was home with us. This was the late 70’s and early 80’s so while she was around the house, she’d be playing the radio. It was all pop music of the time, with a little older stuff thrown in (talking early to mid 70’s older). My father listened to folk music, classical music, and a lot of Irish music. I do remember him singing songs of the Clancy Brothers when I was young.

Sorry about already copping out on the first headline.

The first single I bought

Bought with my own money, I can’t remember, but the first album I received or acquired was Styx’s Killroy Was Here because I’m a fucking nerd and loved “Mr. Roboto”.

The first song I fell in love with

I think maybe I answered this on in the previous header?

The song I inexplicably know every lyric to

I wouldn’t say “inexplicably”; I know the words to the songs I listened to a lot when I was younger, but I can’t pick a dark horse from music history and bang out a rendition at Karaoke Night at the Jade Dragon.

Right now I am listening to “Guilty” by Gravity Kills, and I am singing along. It’s not a song that get’s a lot of airtime unless you’re looking for semi-obscure pop-industrial from the 90’s.

The best song to play at a party

I don’t go to a lot of parties that play music as anything other than background noise, so I really don’t know. For the longest time whenever we’d host a Memorial Day cookout we’d put on “80’s on 8” from SiriusXM because most everyone in attendance grew up in the 80’s, and because there’s a lot of light and relatively inoffensive songs from that era.

The song that changed my life

“Freewill” by Rush. My brother had been taking guitar lessons and picked up a cheap bass as a side project, but he didn’t like it so I took it. I, however, didn’t take any lessons and wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with it until I heard “Freewill”. So I stupidly climbed to the highest musical tower and just stepped off into empty air, it seems.

The song that make me cry

This is a recent one: “Expert in a Dying Field” by The Beths. I’ve written about this already. I do not know why but this song hits hard in a place I have no explanation for. It’s about working at a relationship only to have it fall apart, leaving everyone involved with knowledge about people they can no longer use. I think damn near everyone has been in this situation, so maybe that’s why it’s just so honest and true.

The song I can no longer listen to

I’d like to choose something, but I have found that given enough time and distance, I can listen to anything and disassociate on purpose. I would have said anything by Enya, since during the 90’s when she was literally everywhere my girlfriend at the time and I listened to her a lot, and after we broke up (for the last time), I wouldn’t have wanted to hear anything about Enya let alone her music. But I heard her stuff last week and I had memories, but not adverse reaction.

The song I secretly like, but tell everybody I hate

Again, I really don’t go down the “I hate this song” route if I don’t. I think that because my brother is a veritable musical encyclopedia regardless of decade or genre, he, our friends, and myself are never bashful about what we like if we like a song.

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The song I want played at my funeral

Going back to the well of Rush, I’m going to say “Time Stand Still”. Technically it’s a song about realizing how much time is passing, and is a plea to slow down and live in the moment. As we get older, we seem to perceive time differently; more accelerated. “Summer’s going fast, nights growing colder; children growing up, old friends growing older.” I guess if we’re at my funeral it doesn’t matter if time stands still for me any longer, but I hope those I leave behind will take a listen and take it to heart